BREAKING NEWS...
As of this moment, I have decided not to do a production in December. Today was the straw that broke my back. I'm not saying that I won't change my mind, or that you can't change my mind, I'm just officially backing out of the proposition for now. Why shouldn't I?
This is exactly how I feel about this class at this moment:
1. From day one, you have failed to show me the respect that I deserve. Every day, at least ten times per day and frequently more, I need to ask you to be quiet. Each day, you continue to do your own thing. If I'm boring you, just say it. If I don't deserve your respect, just say it. If you would like me to step down from my position, just say it. I'll accept your rebuke. I won't accept a lack of respect as long as I am your instructor.
2. From day one, I have tried to give you a voice in decisions. I have tried to make you realize that you have a stake in what we do. Unlike all of your other classes where you have NO opinion or voice, I have offered you both. To hear comments like, "We're graduating...what do I care" or "This is boring" outlines the central problem.
3. That central problem is that you love your own wants, needs, desires, ambitions, friends, attitudes, ...whatever....more than you love this program. Well, there are many people in this program, and there many veterans of this program who don't view it the same way. I'm certain that they will be distraught to here that you're turning it into a vehicle for your own ambitions. They are probably just as appalled as I am. I love this program. It's my baby. It's my first-born, and if doesn't mean anything to you, then please, leave it.
4. There is no leadership in this room. I'm sorry. I love all of you in Drama IV, but you're not leading. Leading doesn't mean yelling at people, but it means not tolerating certain behaviors, and beyond that, it means not partaking in them yourself! You're not the children and the darlings of this program any more. You are the Jacobs and Kaitlynns and the Brian Koughs and the Dan Taylors and all the other "big kids" that you used to admire. Stop living in the shadows and come to the light. How do those lyrics for "Light of the World" go?
My plan is simple. I'm going home, and I'm planning on spending the first Thanksgiving and the first Christmas season devoid of stress and distraction. I might even try relaxing for a few hours.
However, I will keep my mind open. I am nearly certain that at one point, I will see some sad Drama IV who really has exemplified all that Drama should be. I will say to myself, "Self, this individual deserves a show." Then, I will search far and wide for a one-man (woman) show, and I will direct that play for that individual. Hopefully, two individuals will fit this bill, and I will say, "Those two deserve a show", and I will search high and low for a two-person show. I will continue this process until I have the deserving on one side and the undeserving on the other.
I am that angry. I really am. Anger is born of frustration, and frustration is a pressurized emotion. It doesn't diminish; it just builds. I've been frustrated since the first day of class, and that pressure has been building. Finally, it hit me. Why should I? Why? Then, it hit me. I don't have to do a production, and POOF!, good-bye pressure. Get it?
MjB
P.S. Please do not post the words "I'm sorry" on this board. Colin, my son, has taken to saying he's sorry for everything, when in reality, I know that he's not. I don't want words from you. I want action. I want changes, and if none occur, then I know how much you really do respect me. If that's the case, that's cool. I'll step away, quietly, gently, and professionally. I will treat the program with the love it deserves.
P.S.S. There's still a pile of books on my floor, and despite my effort to keep my room clean, and despite Julia's efforts to warn you of their demise, they are still there. As of tomorrow, they will be in the garbage.
This is exactly how I feel about this class at this moment:
1. From day one, you have failed to show me the respect that I deserve. Every day, at least ten times per day and frequently more, I need to ask you to be quiet. Each day, you continue to do your own thing. If I'm boring you, just say it. If I don't deserve your respect, just say it. If you would like me to step down from my position, just say it. I'll accept your rebuke. I won't accept a lack of respect as long as I am your instructor.
2. From day one, I have tried to give you a voice in decisions. I have tried to make you realize that you have a stake in what we do. Unlike all of your other classes where you have NO opinion or voice, I have offered you both. To hear comments like, "We're graduating...what do I care" or "This is boring" outlines the central problem.
3. That central problem is that you love your own wants, needs, desires, ambitions, friends, attitudes, ...whatever....more than you love this program. Well, there are many people in this program, and there many veterans of this program who don't view it the same way. I'm certain that they will be distraught to here that you're turning it into a vehicle for your own ambitions. They are probably just as appalled as I am. I love this program. It's my baby. It's my first-born, and if doesn't mean anything to you, then please, leave it.
4. There is no leadership in this room. I'm sorry. I love all of you in Drama IV, but you're not leading. Leading doesn't mean yelling at people, but it means not tolerating certain behaviors, and beyond that, it means not partaking in them yourself! You're not the children and the darlings of this program any more. You are the Jacobs and Kaitlynns and the Brian Koughs and the Dan Taylors and all the other "big kids" that you used to admire. Stop living in the shadows and come to the light. How do those lyrics for "Light of the World" go?
THE PLAN
My plan is simple. I'm going home, and I'm planning on spending the first Thanksgiving and the first Christmas season devoid of stress and distraction. I might even try relaxing for a few hours.
However, I will keep my mind open. I am nearly certain that at one point, I will see some sad Drama IV who really has exemplified all that Drama should be. I will say to myself, "Self, this individual deserves a show." Then, I will search far and wide for a one-man (woman) show, and I will direct that play for that individual. Hopefully, two individuals will fit this bill, and I will say, "Those two deserve a show", and I will search high and low for a two-person show. I will continue this process until I have the deserving on one side and the undeserving on the other.
I am that angry. I really am. Anger is born of frustration, and frustration is a pressurized emotion. It doesn't diminish; it just builds. I've been frustrated since the first day of class, and that pressure has been building. Finally, it hit me. Why should I? Why? Then, it hit me. I don't have to do a production, and POOF!, good-bye pressure. Get it?
MjB
P.S. Please do not post the words "I'm sorry" on this board. Colin, my son, has taken to saying he's sorry for everything, when in reality, I know that he's not. I don't want words from you. I want action. I want changes, and if none occur, then I know how much you really do respect me. If that's the case, that's cool. I'll step away, quietly, gently, and professionally. I will treat the program with the love it deserves.
P.S.S. There's still a pile of books on my floor, and despite my effort to keep my room clean, and despite Julia's efforts to warn you of their demise, they are still there. As of tomorrow, they will be in the garbage.
posted by Mr. Bair at 5:26 PM
9 Comments:
I...am...that...leader.
the only regret i have ever had in drama is waiting until my junior year to join...even so...you (bair) as well as the program as a whole have had an effect on me that is beyond words.
alright so id be pretty psyched to light a production...even with a fried light board...its all there.
For anyone still in doubt, Mr. Bair is right, and he means what he says. There is no reason for drama members at our level to waste so much time in class. When we were Drama 1's all Bair had to do sometimes was step into a room, and it would get quiet. What changed? When did we decide that Drama was gossip and social hour? Forgive me if I sound harsh, and I know I'm not blameless, but ever since the year started, we've been using Drama as our own personal free period instead of listening to what Mr. Bair has to say. Free periods do not a legacy make. Most of us are seniors. This is our last year to make an impact. I know I for one don't want to spend it doing busy work because Mr. Bair has decided to treat us like the children we act like. I stayed in Drama because it was the first place that made me feel like an adult. I don't want to lose that, and I certainly don't want to lose Mr. Bair. He is the only thing separating our program from other drama programs that I shouldn't mention on a public blog. He is thinking of leaving, and we have one year to convince him otherwise. One year. So, we all need to stop messing around and get back to what drama's really about.
P.S. sorry about the lecture. That's been building for a while.
understood.
OK!!!!!
I have a wonderfully simple first step that we really, really, really need to make. can everyone please stop talking over everyone else? Thats all. just do that please.
I completely see where you are coming from Mr. Bair. Of course, I am hoping we, as a class (not classes), will get our act together because I would REALLY enjoy a production this year.
One thing that has been frustrating for me, and thus I'm sure Mr. Bair, is the irrelevant interruptions in class.
But actions speak louder than words, so I will be brief. Less speaking and more doing.
To my fellow Dramarians:
All right, here's my two cents worth, all the way from Warwick, RI! We're going about this all wrong. I appreciate Birky's and John's sentiments about Birky being the leader. However, that will not solve much of anything. If we need to accomplish anything, we cannot have leaders. Leaders are what defeats this program. If we have leaders, that means we have followers. And then, what do we have? Division. Isn't division the thing we've been trying to rid ourselves of since the current Drama IVs' Drama I class?
No, leaders are not the way to go. Mr. Bair says he needs leaders because he wants the Drama IV's to show what they (should) have learned over the past years to those who don't know it. He wants each of us to communicate what we know to the people who don't know it. EACH of us, not ONE of us. That's why each of us needs to be a "leader."
Being a leader is about having a figurehead. We don't need a figurehead. We already have one: Mr. Bair. He's eaten, slept, and breathed this program since day 1, and it's not our choice to give back to him. It's our responsibility. If we don't, we're essentially stealing from him and from ourselves.
In short, there can't be one person leading and the rest following. We all need to work together. As Mr. Bair said, if one person shines, he will find a play for that one person. We need everyone to do a production, and thus need everyone to cooperate in this. Don't think of this as wanting a production for yourself. Think of it as wanting to give Mr. Bair a production, because that's why he does this program. He's cared so much for us, and it's time that each one of us cares for him and each other.
To those of you who get this message (and I meant truly GET it), let's set an example and help others get it. We don't need to do one specific thing, but to clean up our entire act.
Adam
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